| “Grateful”
grateful, i'm just grateful.
Jesus, you really can make all things new.
i saw Aaron with the children
i heard Adam...ache? yearn? desire?
sifting inside his eyes, did i see you?
i'm so scared to embrace it,
don't want to be disappointed;
after all the tears and pleas,
help me put down this despair.
tell me not to run to it like i have;
you're changing me too, aren't you?
more than i could ask or imagine
and now i just want to breathe,
constantly, fully. yes, just you.
“Good Friday”
Good Friday tears today are unlike any I've felt before.
Eating, conversing, laughing with Jeremy this afternoon-
Sitting in a car and riding with the window rolled down,
Breathing, aching, longing, sighing, smelling, feeling and
Gazing at flowers on the roadside I've never seen before-
YES, I am Living; truly, it seems for the very first time.
The wetness of tears stream down my face, oh but these,
These sting, comfort, relieve, remind me of sweat, blood,
The mixing of the deepest, darkest, dying senses that Friday,
Screaming, wailing, suffocating- dense, darkness, and dirt
Rubbing and tearing the wounds, the eyes, nose, mouth
Of the Lamb slain for the world, wounded for my life, forsaken-
Abandoned there, he cries for his God; but no one will answer.
“Hello, It's Me.”
I am the fool,
I am the judge with
careless words and
indulging whims-
I do know better.
I am selfish,
I am immature and
become messy again,
needing a bath-
It's so frustrating.
I, the wretched,
I, the sinner who
continues choosing
second best-
How very convenient.
You are longing,
You are desiring to
be sought out,
pursued again-
Teach me to trust.
“Dakota's Sundance”
Music blaring, hands raised-
it should be chaos with the noise, all the shouting.
But it's peaceful here with a bundle of life,
his arms dangled around my side.
Stroking soft, dirty, blond hair and
staring at those long, brown eyelashes;
this is sacred, Yes, this is Jesus.
Stand up, carry and sit back down again.
I can hear his slow, deep breaths,
notice the drool on the corner of my shirt,
and feel the air breathed on my skin.
And while I hear the heavy breathing,
I feel the warmth of his small body,
like the heat of a midday sun. comforting. bright.
His head is lying on my chest-serene, sweaty face.
The lingering, longing, lovely eyes are closed now,
and I wonder if I am merely dreaming,
dancing still with this son of God.
“Chevy”
Chevy, Roper and Dakota: i miss you,
you have no idea how much i see Jesus in you.
Chevy, i love how you guard your brothers;
you're the warrior in battle when no one else is.
Roper, i love how your grin is missing lots of teeth;
you want to stay young, and it's hard to grow up.
Dakota, i love the way you say my name with three syllables;
you cried for your daddy, but he wasn't there.
so teach me to be a child, to be vulnerable and weak,
my master says when i become like you, i enter his kingdom
©2001-2005 Teresa Pecinovsky
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